Rafiki shared with me the other day the following video on Childhood Trauma. What it explains in a very easy to understand way, is that as a child, anything less than nurturing, will create trauma. How we act as adults is directly how we are responding and reacting to our childhood trauma.
“It’s not about blaming, but it’s about understanding.”
– Neil Stauss
Everything That’s Wrong With Your Behavior and Why
– Neil Strauss
There were two points of this video that resonated with me. The first was, “when we are stuck in our story, we feel less than others.” This was what I learned from my blog. I needed to get outside my story so I could understand my actions and I could accept what I was doing. It is from there that I learned how to grow and change.
The other part that I related to was the definition of the wounded child and the adapted adolescent. I completely inhabited the traits of both and was constantly reacting from my childhood wounding (my poor family). The traits of each are as follows:
Wounded Child:
- worthless
- needy
- out of control
- attention
- idealize others
Adapted Adolescent:
- arogant
- needless
- hypercontrolling
- intensity
- disillusioned
When an old wound has been triggered, I used to react exactly as stated in the video above:
- shutting down
- losing temper
- sulking
- freaking out
- disassociating
What is not mentioned, I mean I guess it can be implied by disassociating, was addiction. Any addiction is the survival mechanism a child learned to protect him or herself from their childhood wounding. This does not excuse past behaviors nor does it condone them. What it does, is allow us to understand them and with that understanding, the ability to change.
“Awareness is the first step to change.”
May my Fledglings open their eyes and their hearts to become aware so you can too, Rise from the Ashes and Soar with Eagles!
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