I was proof reading a blog I had written March 2017, I Double Dog Dare You: Make Vows to Yourself to finally post on my site. I mean, it’s only been a year and a half since I wrote it.


As I was reviewing and editing, I was impressed with one of the vows I had written:


I promise not to view my imperfections as character flaws, but as inclusions that make up the radiant diamond that is me.


This reminded me of the engagement ring I had gotten my wife. My journey of searching for the “perfect” Marquise diamond led me to meet a older gentleman in the heart of San Francisco. He made it clear on the phone that he did not deal with the general public, only with jewelers.


Yet, he was was also quite confused and surprised as to how I found his business phone number (you have to remember, this was when the internet was in it’s infancy). He at first dismissed my call, then, realizing the amount of research I had done looking for a ring (I used all the right buzzwords to “sound” like a professional), he brought me under his wing.


“Son, you’re spending too much time looking for the right clarity and color. Mind you, these are important, however, it’s more important to look at the cut of the diamond. How the diamond is cut will determine how the light reflects off it. This is what makes up the brilliance of the diamond, not the clarity and color. Why don’t you come down to my office and we can look at different stones?”


That’s what my finance and I did; a trip to San Francisco.


He educated the two of us on what to look for and the difference between the cut, color, and clarity of diamonds of different shapes and sizes. We decided on a beautiful one carat stone. Because I had agreed to going down in color and clarity, I was able to increase the size of the diamond – whoo hoo. I mean it’s all about how other’s perceive us, right? I was just a wee bit naive back then.


There was one thing about this stone that bothered me. It had a blemish. This was an imperfection that I could clearly see and, after all the research I’d done, this stone wasn’t perfect. I wanted perfection for my future wife.


“Yeah, this one’s ok,” I sigh. “It just…it just has this inclusion right here.” I try to show off my knowledge as I’m looking through the loupe, and at the same time, sounding disappointed.


This is what I’ve always loved about my wife. It’s the way she looks at the world around her. She has this uncanny ability to see the positive in life and allow that to be her drive and focus.


Without missing a beat she replies, “I only see a beauty mark.” That one perception changed my entire view about her ring. That one change in perspective allows me to always know that the stone set in her ring is the one we choose over 18 years ago. I know where the beauty mark lies.


What I saw as imperfection, is truly what gives her stone personality.



Share Day

I came across This is How to Embrace Your Imperfections and Claim Your True Worth while perusing the internet. This article was published by The Mission,  “a new kind of media company to provide the best ways to upgrade health, wealth, wisdom, tech, and careers.”


I urge you to read the entire article, but I had to share this story, tale, parable, and lesson explaining how we can view our imperfections.


A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot had a crack in it while the other was perfect and consistently delivered a whole portion of water.


One day, at the end of the long walk from the stream to his house, the cracked pot arrived half full. This continued daily for two years, with the bearer bringing home one and a half pots of water.


The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the cracked pot was embarrassed by its imperfection since it fulfilled only a fraction of what it was designed for.


After two years of what it regarded as disappointment, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the river. “I’m ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house.”


The bearer replied, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I’ve always known about your flaw. I sowed flower seeds on your side of the path and every day on our walk back to the house, you watered them.


“For two years I’ve picked these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being the way you are, I wouldn’t have this beauty to decorate the house.”


What you regard as limitations is good fortune clothed as adversity, yet when applied correctly can transform your life.


Accept yourself completely, knowing you possess a combination of qualities. Instead of bringing attention to your weaknesses, view them as gifts to transform into the wholeness of your being.


It’s pointless striving to become someone you’re not. To maintain a facade over time is exhausting and strips you of your authentic self.


Once again, don’t stop with just this story above. I urge you to read This is How to Embrace Your Imperfections and Claim Your True Worth. That’s what my Wednesday Share Days are all about.


Change your beliefs. Take your negative thoughts and turn them into a positive.


Don’t view your imperfections as character flaws. They make you unique and brilliant.


You do sparkle like a diamond!


~ Phoenix Emery


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