Happy Wednesday my Fledglings!!
It’s been a while since I’ve shared something on Wednesday. Almost four months to be exact. You know when you get behind on something and eventually it feels like you’ll never catch up? So, instead of even making a dent out of what you’re behind on, be it dishes, homework, cleaning the house, etc, you tend to ignore it hoping it will take care of itself?
That’s kind of how I’ve felt with my blog lately. I spent two months training for a new job where I didn’t have time to do much other than study and this past month trying to catch up on everything that got dropped before I spent 59 days in a hotel. I’d like to go back and work on my Grateful Sunday’s and yet, I find, that instead of doing them, I have been resisting everything else as well.
Well, today it’s time to break that habit! I was in the gym listening to a Ted Talk and came across this. It resonated with me so strongly that I said to myself, “Phoenix. It’s time to get out there and post again.”
The ironic part of listening to this talk while lifting weights was that I was trying to “ooze machismo, charisma and power”, the very roles that Justin Baldoni plays as an actor. His definition of the man he pretended to be, “…strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting,” resounded deep within my being.
Here I am at the gym, pumping iron, while I had to continuously stop, brush away and hide tears that were streaming down my face. This parallels my blog about judgement I wrote the other day. I always felt judged because I was not the man society expected me to be.
Why I’m Done Trying to Be “Man Enough”
“Growing up, we tend to challenge each other. We’ve got to be the toughest, the strongest, the bravest men that we can be. And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we’re man enough. But I’ve got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges.”
Other resources for my male Fledglings:
In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes the ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; the cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and the destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight.
He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It’s not easy, but if you want to love, be loved, and live a great life, then it’s an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make.
A good website for men is Man Therapy. Dr. Richard Mahogany is a fictional therapist who “mans up” to reach men who are at risk of suicide; men who are least likely to ask for help when needed. It uses humor to connect to help men address mental health issues they don’t feel comfortable talking about.
Working aged men (25-54 years old) account for the largest number of suicide deaths in the U.S. These men are also the least likely to receive any kind of support. They don’t talk about it with their friends. They don’t share with their family. And they sure as heck don’t seek professional treatment. They are the victims of problematic thinking that says mental health disorders are unmanly signs of weakness.