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Wednesday Share Day – March 21, 2018

 

Ok…this first share isn’t the “actual” share I was going to give today, but I thought this was cool.

 

Yesterday was The Spring Equinox – thank you Google for the animation. I had no idea that the Spring Equinox meant that most places would have an equal amount of daylight and night (12 hours each). That means Spring is now here and today we’ll have just a little bit more daylight than yesterday. YAY!

 

Wait…isn’t there another snow storm hitting the North East today? Maybe Google was just teasing us yesterday.

 

My share this week is focused on the family of an addict.

 

I spent the weekend at my annual retreat for sex addiction followed by flying across the country to attend a professional seminar dealing with addiction in my industry. During my retreat I did three workshops:

 

  1. Relationships
  2. Regrets
  3. Forgiveness Ceremony

 

I found a common thread in the subjects I had chosen. Under the Relationships Workshop, I was to write down three to four of the most important people in my life. The three were, of course, if you’ve been following my blog, my two daughters and my former spouse.

 

In the Regret Workshop, I was to list all my regrets eventually followed by my biggest regret. The biggest regret was the hurt and pain I brought upon my former spouse. I will later have a separate blog just on that workshop.

 

And the Forgiveness Ceremony was an incredible Indian custom to forgive others and to allow myself to be forgiven.

 

As I attended the professional seminar, one of the shifts in focus was recovery for the family. Recovery for an addict wasn’t enough. Addiction is a family disease. It affects the family at all levels; the spouse, the kids, the extended family.

 

During my retreat, I was reminded just how much my family was hurt from my addiction.

 

The shrapnel of an addict’s actions makes this not an addict disease, but a family disease.

 

The shrapnel of an addict's actions make this not an addict disease, but a family disease. Click To Tweet

 

As stated in Addiction is a Family Affliction:

Change in any part of the family system leads to changes in all parts of the system.

Think of a mobile hanging from the ceiling or over a crib in a child’s room: each part is inextricably connected to the other parts such that, when one part moves, all of the other parts move in response to it. As it relates to families, this process can work in a variety of ways. For example, when one family member—for instance, a parent—is overly responsible and controlling, this influences the attitudes and behaviors of other family members. Adult partners and children both typically respond by becoming somewhat less responsible.

 

Recovery needs to be available for everyone in the family. Addiction is a Family Disease explains:

“…first it’s vitally important to point out that saying the family unit has been effected does not place blame on the family. In fact, no one is to blame at all. It simply means that a family unit, no matter how healthy or dysfunctional from the start, will always be negatively impacted by the individual’s addiction and thus develop negative coping skills in order to continue to function…” 

 

The overall goal is a not just a healthy addict, but a healthy family!

 

Today’s share, I’ve included a bunch of articles about the family disease of addiction. My biggest hope is that everyone in the family can rise from the ashes and be reborn.

 

And the first step to doing that is awareness.

 

Enjoy the readings and may you find healing in your future!

 

~ Phoenix Emery

 

Addiction is a Family Disease:

Addiction as a Family Affliction

Addiction is a Family Disease – Maryland Addiction Recovery Center

What Came First, Addiction or the Family Disease?

Why the Disease Affects the Whole Family

Addiction is a Family Disease – New Life House Recovery Community

Why is Addiction Called a Family Disease?

 

 

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