I read a great article titled Love More, Care Less, written by Martha Beck. It explains how we can detach out of love. This is a great supplement to my “if only” blog, Heal the Loneliness. Martha gives a simple four step method to love one another unconditionally. By finding your own truth, you will, in turn, find your own happiness.
“To care for someone can mean to adore them, feed them, tend their wounds. But care can also signify sorrow, as in “bowed down by cares.” Or anxiety, as in “Careful!” Or investment in an outcome, as in “Who cares?” The word love has no such range of meaning: It’s pure acceptance. Watching families like Loretta’s taught me that caring — with its shades of sadness, fear, and insistence on specific outcomes — is not love. In fact, when care appears, unconditional love often vanishes.”
“…on an emotional level, our brains are designed to mirror one another. As a result, when we’re anxious and controlling, other people don’t respond with compliance; they reflect us by becoming—press the button when you get the right answer — anxious and controlling. Anger elicits anger, fear elicits fear, no matter how well meaning we may be.”