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Over two years ago I started on a journey to rid the emotional and physical pain that continued to cripple me. Resentment flooded my body as I was now, for the first time, learning how to live life on my own. Loneliness and despair slashed through my heart as I watched my wife move on, making up she was happier than she had ever been in our marriage.

 

I pleaded and begged for the pain to disappear. I willed the pain to dissipate. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could not release it.

 

A pool of boiling anger bubbled under the surface with the belief that I had once again “failed” and could not do anything right. That anger shot out passive aggressively in my words and my actions, further distancing myself from the one I desired to connect with.

 

My writing allowed me to release my pain. I was able to release the loneliness, the despair, the anguish. I let go of resentment. I let go of anger.

 

I found inner peace.

 

I had risen from the ashes and became reborn.

 

For me, the final journey towards accepting and grieving my divorce has been the desire to get a tattoo. I started that rite of passage this past weekend.

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I received an email last week about a new book written by Robert Weiss. Robert Weiss is a “digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions – most notably sex, porn, and love addiction.” 

 

I had the privilege of  seeing him in person a few years ago at a talk in my home town. He’s a recovering sex addict himself, a therapist who is CSAT trained (specific training for sex addiction), and also hosts an online sex, love and porn addict webinar every Friday night at In The Rooms.

 

Robert Weis has written a number of books about sex addiction:

 

A large part of my recovering journey has been to understand how my addiction affected my wife. It’s learning how my actions damaged her that allows me the empathy and compassion to understand her decisions and to be supportive when she’s triggered. I continue to look for new information about partners of sex addicts, not only to help me understand her, but to also continue to remind me that there are two sides to every coin. I wasn’t the only one in pain in our marriage.

 

Our recovery community has clearly changed viewpoints when it comes to treating the partner and Robert Weiss’s new book is the perspective my wife needed so many years ago.

 

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I’m grateful for the opportunity to start teaching once again. I know I only have a couple of months before I move on and I also know that training while flying adds a ton to my workload, however, the rewards are amazing. I fly with some incredible people and I love giving them the enjoyable memories and learning experiences as they take that first step towards their future.

 

I’m grateful for stepping completely outside my comfort zone and facing my fears. I still have much processing that needs to be done as I write about my experience. What I did took much courage and yet is another step in my healing. I will hold off telling you what I did here. You’ll just have to wait and see with my upcoming blog…

 

I’m grateful for an incredible day spent on the bay, in the city, and watching the Blue Angles with my girls, a couple of their friends, and another father. Great adult conversations with someone on a similar journey of self improvement as myself. Loved watching my youngest daughter and her friend just be kids. Where the idea to try to negotiate getting popcorn from a boy scout or artwork from a street seller by trading a plastic fork came from, I will never know. Yet, what creative skills they are learning trying to do it. I also enjoyed watching my oldest daughter and a good friend of hers reconnect. Since she has changed high schools, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with him and spending one on one time with people instead of being glued to a phone is an important skill this new generation is lacking.

 

I’m grateful for yet another wonderful week and I am blessed with the life I have.