My journey of recovery from sex addiction has finally led me to look at the trauma piece I caused my former spouse. I must admit, I feel a little bit of guilt that I’m trying to understand this now, when I have almost seven years of recovery under my belt. I may have maintained sobriety, but my behaviors in recovery were far from being free from my character defects. I didn’t make her life easy.


“Seriously Rafiki, why did it take me so long?”


“Phoenix, it’s progress not perfection,” Rafiki reminds me. “It’s one day at a time. You weren’t ready to see. You needed to heal your own wounding to be present for your former spouse.”


“I caused this! All I did was cause her more trauma by not being present. I should have been there for her a long time ago.”


“When you ‘should yourself’, you just shit on yourself,” Rafiki declares.


“Yeah, I know,” I groan.

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