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The other morning, I received a text from my wife, “It may not be what you fully want, but you have a pretty damn good lifestyle.”

 

While she was struggling to get our oldest daughter, who blatantly refused to go to school, out of her house, I was at the gym prior to my dental appointment and meeting up with her and a consultant to discuss separation of assets.

 

My first thought was, “The lifestyle I would like to have is to come home to you and our girls, spend an hour with you before heading to bed, wake up and enjoy a cup of coffee with you, then do what I can to help you out in the morning while you have ‘you time’ because you busted your ass this week once again being a single parent with a full-time job. This morning I’d rather have your lifestyle struggling with getting our girls to school rather than going to the gym at 6:30 in the morning to distract me from the lack of sleep I got the previous night knowing we were going to discuss the next step to finalize our divorce.” (No, I did not say this out loud – I’ve gotten better with boundaries and not vomiting my initial thoughts.)

 

Perspective

 

We have the tendency to see the world from the negative aspects in our own personal lives, while sensationalizing the positive aspects of everyone else’s.

 

For some reason, the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

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I’m grateful for another successful recurrent ground and simulator session. It’s fun to go back through training to sharpen and hone skills that are not used on a daily basis. There’s always something new I’m learning when I do this. I’m grateful for my two hour walk to the gym, working out, and later walking two hours back. Those hikes have become tradition to studying my flashcards for my oral exam.

 

I’m grateful my wife asked for us to pray and that we prayed out loud (something that we have never really done) prior to our appointment with a consultant to discuss separation of assets. I’m grateful a possible solution was given that would allow both of us a minimum of disruption in our lives. I’m grateful that we still remain amicable and are friends through this process.

 

I’m grateful my wife switched my dentist appointment with hers since my schedule changed due to keeping my training certification current. I’m grateful that it was my second clean bill of health since my tooth extraction at the beginning of the year.

 

I’m grateful for a day spent with my oldest daughter and a friend and his two kids at an airshow. I had fun keeping a three year old entertained while waiting in line to visit the flight deck of a C-17. It brought back memories about all the fun I had with my girls when they were younger. I enjoyed lounging in a chair, drinking coffee, and watching my daughter next to me get extremely excited to watch aerobatics and her face light up to hear the sounds of the jets flying by. I can’t wait till my schedule opens up so I will have the opportunity to teach her how to fly and she can join me in my passion.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m selfish. It seems that my blogs are made more for me than for my Fledglings. Here, let me explain.

 

I’m the kind of person who learns something, shouts it out to the world, has a tendency to walk around like I know it all, and then…a few months later, I completely forget what it was I learned. Recovery, self-help, self-love, insight, lessons I’ve learned really take a while to stick. Maybe it’s because I’ve got multiple decades of ingrained behavior I’m trying to change. Maybe it’s because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Or maybe it’s because I’m a man (sorry guys, truth hurts).

 

So, it’s taken me a while to remember that when something I struggled with in the past reoccurs or I need a little kick in the ass to understand what’s going on, I have a wealth of information at my fingertips. Right here! Instead of trying to search my emails for some great idea I heard about or try to Google it, I can go right to my handy dandy website and find it. I can look under my Chronological List of Blog Entries or under my Chronological List of Wednesday Share Day Blogs. I can even use the search button located in the upper right hand corner of this website page.

 

See, I told you I was selfish. Spoken like a true addict! (yes, you can do the same thing too…)

 

Today, I’d like to share with you an article that was posted on the I Love Recovery Cafe website. This recovery piece is titled What to Say When you Don’t Know What to Say, by Andrea Wachter, LMFT. If  you’ve ever been caught off guard by something someone says to you, and you’re like me who struggles with becoming reactive, make a copy of this article and store it on your smartphone or in your wallet (or find it here under the List of Share Day Bogs). I believe this will not only save you grief from accidentally putting your foot in your mouth (something I have a tendency to do regularly) but allow open communication and understanding between you and another individual.

 

If you can think of anything else to add to Andrea’s List, please add it in the comments down below.