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A week and a half ago was really tough. I relived the complete story about my marriage, my addiction, and my recovery with a fellow peer. It’d been a while since I re-experienced the full, detailed history of how my addiction shattered the three people closest to me.

 

As I remembered who I was and what I’d done, I could not understand why my former spouse and I still had as strong a friendship that we still do. I had to battle the shame and guilt that once again threatened to tear down my self-worth and self-esteem.

 

Using my tools, I was able to ground myself and stop the stories lies I kept making up.

 

That’s not always an easy process.

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My former spouse reminded me of a remark I had made about her almost ten years ago. This was one of many damaging comments I made about my wife while we were married.

 

It’s important to realize that when we’re not mindful, words can become daggers that cut into the souls of someone else’s heart. Once we vocalize our faulty thoughts, we can never take them back. We leave shotgun sized holes in a person’s psyche that may never heal.

 

And sometimes, that person is us.

 

These stories become the poison that kills the inner child.

 

These injuries are brought into interactions with family and friends. They’re carried into relationships. They are passed down to children.

 

This cycle of pain continues from generation to generation, from person to person. People suffer. Society suffers.

 

There is a solution. It takes persistence. It takes time. It takes courage.

 

We may uncover parts of ourselves we don’t wanted to face. It may even mean we have to change.

 

Sometimes we must step into the dark to appreciate the light; experience the winter storms to cherish the summer.

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I started listening to Oprah’s Supersoul Sunday podcasts last week. Monday morning I got up and thought it might be better to watch them instead. How cool would that be?

 

I was scrolling through the episodes and I saw that Oprah had an interview with William Paul Young, the author of The Shack. I had reluctantly read The Shack in 2008. This opened the door to me exposing my shack (my secrets) to an emotional affair partner, who later labeled me as a sex addict. She insisted that I come clean with my spouse and start the long road to recovery.

 

I resisted her pleas.

 

It wasn’t until my wife caught me in a lie and demanded that I “man up” that I ended up disclosing the secrets I held so tightly. It was not the first time I opened my shack to my wife, nor would it be the last time. This disclosure was one of many firestorms that ripped through our marriage.

 

On Monday, I felt drawn to hear Paul’s story. What was in his shack? What was his “great sadness”? What prompted him to write the book that later became a movie?

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