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Over two years ago I started on a journey to rid the emotional and physical pain that continued to cripple me. Resentment flooded my body as I was now, for the first time, learning how to live life on my own. Loneliness and despair slashed through my heart as I watched my wife move on, making up she was happier than she had ever been in our marriage.

 

I pleaded and begged for the pain to disappear. I willed the pain to dissipate. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could not release it.

 

A pool of boiling anger bubbled under the surface with the belief that I had once again “failed” and could not do anything right. That anger shot out passive aggressively in my words and my actions, further distancing myself from the one I desired to connect with.

 

My writing allowed me to release my pain. I was able to release the loneliness, the despair, the anguish. I let go of resentment. I let go of anger.

 

I found inner peace.

 

I had risen from the ashes and became reborn.

 

For me, the final journey towards accepting and grieving my divorce has been the desire to get a tattoo. I started that rite of passage this past weekend.

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I’m still riding on cloud nine, soaring with the eagles, and rising from the ashes like the Phoenix I am as I keep thinking about the next step in the journey of my life. So excited and grateful for my new job in a couple of months. Grateful for all the people who are celebrating with me. And am hoping I can bring many of my current working family with me as I convince them to jump ship and join me on the other side. Is that bad? Nah! I love my peeps!

 

I’m grateful for the walk I took with my two daughters, which added some depth and insight to my Perspective: The Key to Healing blog I wrote this week. Speaking about blogging, I’m grateful I had the time to sit down and write again. Life has gotten quite busy. I’m also grateful for the 30 minute walk with my youngest daughter right before school. I’ve come to truly enjoy the one on one time with her and I’m hopeful we can continue this new tradition throughout the year.

 

I’m grateful for the celebratory steak house dinner a good friend and his wife treated me to. Completely unexpected and one of the most AMAZING dining experiences I’ve had. Left over food for two days too. YUM! Followed by four days of trying to burn off all those extra calories through exercise, another learning experience for me. I’m grateful that I actually was able to do it too. Although, next time…I’ll just scratch it up as an off day. Those days are ok too.