As a fellowship of recovering addicts, Sex Addicts Anonymous offers a message of hope to anyone who suffers from sex addiction.
Through long and painful experience, we came to realize that we were powerless over our sexual thoughts and behaviors and that our preoccupation with sex was causing progressively severe adverse consequences for us, our families, and our friends. Despite many failed promises to ourselves and attempts to change, we discovered that we were unable to stop acting out sexually by ourselves.
Many of us came to this realization when we started attending SAA meetings. In that setting we heard stories similar to ours and realized that recovery from our problem was possible. We learned through the SAA Fellowship that we were not hopelessly defective.
The basic principles of recovery practiced by SAA are found in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although we are not affiliated with AA or with any other organization or agency, we are, indeed, grateful for permission to modify and apply the Steps and Traditions to sex addiction, making recovery possible for us.
“We found in each other what we could find nowhere else: people who knew the depth of our pain. Together we found hope and the care of a loving Higher Power. Our commitment is to help others recover from sexual addiction, just as we have been helped.”
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, or S.L.A.A., is a program for anyone who suffers from an addictive compulsion to engage in or avoid sex, love, or emotional attachment. We use the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous to recover from these compulsions.
The following behaviors have been experienced by members.
- Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
- Fearing abandonment and loneliness , we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships….
- We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.
- We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy.….
- To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement,…Excerpts from the Twelve Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction ©1985
You may be experiencing one or all of these characteristics, but only you can decide for sure if S.L.A.A. is right for you. To help you make this decision, it is suggested that you complete the 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis. If you answer yes to any combination of these questions and think you may be struggling with sex and love addiction, you are welcome in S.L.A.A.
Sexaholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober..Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and help others to achieve sexual sobriety.
We have a solution. We don’t claim it’s for everybody, but for us, it works. If you identify with us and think you may share our problem, we’d like to share our solution with you (Sexaholics Anonymous, last sentence, page 2).
In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves. Thus, for the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. In SA’s sobriety definition, the term “spouse” refers to one’s partner in a marriage between a man and a woman. For the unmarried sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind. And for all of us, single and married alike, sexual sobriety also includes progressive victory over lust (Sexaholics Anonymous, 191-192).
Co-Dependents of Sex Addicts was founded in 1980 as a Twelve Step recovery program for men and women whose lives have been affected by another person’s compulsive sexual behavior. Adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, COSA is a program for our spiritual development, no matter what our religious beliefs. As we meet to share our experience, strength, and hope while working the Twelve Steps, we grow stronger in spirit. We begin to lead our lives more serenely and in deeper fulfillment, little by little, one day at a time. Only in this way can we be of help to others. The only requirement for membership in COSA is to have been affected by compulsive sexual behavior.
What brings us to COSA? Before recovery, we are unable to admit our powerlessness over compulsive sexual behavior, either someone else’s behavior, or our own obsession with the sex addict. We attempt to control, losing regard for our own well-being in the process. Whether we choose to call it sexual codependency or co-sex addiction, our problem is a serious and progressive disease—as harmful to us as sexual addiction is to the sex addict.
Lying, covering up, explaining away, or ignoring compulsive sexual behaviors are some of the unhealthy ways we may cope. We stifle the inner voice telling us something is wrong. We accept promises like “it won’t happen again” many times over, and in effect, enable the addiction. With the denial of reality, our lives become increasingly unmanageable.
Our efforts to control escalate in an attempt to alleviate the strain. We tell ourselves that if only we could somehow change—for example, be more (or less) attractive, provocative, intelligent, competent—we could change another person’s sexual behavior.
In the long run, our efforts to control fail. The consequences leave us in despair: our self-esteem, personal boundaries, and values are seriously compromised. Our health and our lives are at risk, and our identity is lost. We realize our need to reach out for help.
COSA offers hope. In COSA, we begin to experience relief from our isolation, in the safety of an anonymous gathering with others who share our stories. During every meeting, little by little, sanity, clarity, and our own truth begin to emerge.
Recovering Couples Anonymous are couples committed to restoring healthy communication, caring, and greater intimacy to our coupleships. We suffer from many problems, some identified and some not, some treated and some not. We also come from different levels of brokenness. Many of us have been separated or near divorce. Some of us are new in our coupleships and seek to build intimacy together. We have all sought healing in Recovering Couples Anonymous.
This group is organized and registered through the World Service Organization of Recovering Couples Anonymous. The only requirement for RCA membership is a desire to remain in a committed relationship. The meetings follow a 12 Step format and we adhere to the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, using RCA’s “4th edition of the Basic Text“ as the guide for our group conduct, work, and meetings.
Sunday Online Video Meeting is open to both Couples and Singles.