I’m grateful I’ve learned how to manage arguments between my two daughters. This last one, I did not engage, acknowledged each of them so they both felt heard, and offered a solution that worked for all three of us. I did not get angry, however there was a consequence. My youngest daughter and I would not get to watch Thor, the next movie in our Marvel chronological series. I’m grateful I stood true to my word and not only did she do four hours straight of math homework sitting next to me while I was working on my Challenges, we watched Thor the following evening when she had caught up with all her assignments. I’m also grateful she agreed to do an hour yoga with me as long as I joined her in Just Dance. We only got four songs in because her sister needed last minute assistance on a project. I’m glad my daughter was accommodating and allowed me to give the time her sister requested.
I’m grateful my oldest daughter reached out for help in the last few hours of finishing her senior project being due. Her instructor had asked her to narrow her topic down and all the research she had previously done was no longer applicable. With limited time left, she was in a panicked state. I completely understand. I’ve been there myself too many times to count. At one point, I asked her to put on her shoes and go for a walk. She at first resisted. I mean it was 9:30 at night and her research paper was due at midnight. I knew we both needed fresh air and to take a brief break to clear our minds. Recovery and all the work I’ve done has paid off. I would have never thought taking fifteen minutes to care for myself would actually be more of a benefit then forcing oneself to “plough through”. The cold air cleared our stressed out minds, holding her hand in mine calmed the tension in our bodies, and we helped inform a neighbor who’s irrigation system sprung a huge leak before they went to bed. We got back in the house and busted out her project getting it turned in right on time.
I’m grateful for my few days in New Orleans with my girlfriend. While I missed seeing her son and missed having my girls with me, it was the first time since we had met that we had alone time with one another. I enjoyed our meals together, her working on her art while I focused on my Blog Challenge, coffee and good conversation in the mornings, and snuggling watching Yes Day on her couch. I’m grateful for our group Zoom call with the Transformational Challenge (that was fun to do together). I know she was uncomfortable and yet she persevered like a true trooper. And speaking of trooper, my girlfriend agreed to take a Tango lesson with me one evening. The couple teaching the class were hilarious, which helped calm her nerves a bit. Even though a masked covered her face, I could see the apprehension and awkwardness in her eyes. About 30 minutes in, we started getting the hang of it and I could see her relax a bit. Plus, I only stepped on her foot once. LOL!
I’m grateful for the cookie dough shop. Seriously! I didn’t know those were a thing. Instead of ice cream in a cone, I had a scoop of s’mores cookie dough in a sugar cone (that was after trying 9 different kinds). Of course, this only caused me craving for more cookie dough that I ended up grabbing at the dollar store while she was looking for crafts. Yes, I have a sweet tooth. I plan to work on that next week. I know, famous last words. Oh, I almost forgot. I’m grateful she was able to get her first vaccination shot and I could be there to celebrate with her. Breakfast in New Orleans was absolutely amazing!
I’m grateful my stimulus payment came the day I purchased my new iPhone 12 Pro. I’ve never purchased a “top-of-the-line” smart phone for myself before. My ex and daughters have bought the newest phones, but not me. I could never justify the cost. I mean, I was that guy who kept a pager when everyone had a flip phone and later agreed to a flip phone when smart phones became popular. It was such a challenge to agree to upgrade my iPhone 7, and yet, after the transaction, I noticed the stimulus payment arrived in my bank account. I breathed a sigh of relief. I’m also grateful the stimulus has allowed me another $300 to donate to charity. I’m glad I’ve been able to keep giving 10% of my income for the past four years.
I’m grateful I completed my vision board. As mentioned last week, I used the Feng Shui method of placing my goals in a certain way to promote balance and harmony. I made goals on what I’d like to accomplish with Together We Can Heal in the next six months. I’ve committed to taking at least 5 hip hop dance classes and plan to do 5 handstand push ups by the end of September (I don’t even know how to do a handstand yet). I’d like to do weekly virtual dates with my girlfriend as well as find a couple therapist that can help us continue to build and grow our relationship. My other commitment was to continue on my plan to read the bible in one year (today was Day 80) and would like to include prayer to my daily routines. I have this board on my desk and on my phone so I can see it every day reminding me what I plan to accomplish.
Which leads me to an “ah ha” experience with my girlfriend. I’m grateful we feel safe and open enough to share our thoughts and feelings. She explained she would probably not do another challenge with me again. What she told me was a different perspective from the story I told myself for years. She said that while I was supportive and wanted the best for everyone, the fact that I was so goal oriented was intimidating. She pointed out it wasn’t that I was trying to be better. She could tell I wanted her and everyone to succeed as well as I. It was that I was a hard act to follow and that brought up self-doubt in her abilities. This explains why my girls don’t want to do certain things with me. While I look at my competitiveness as a way to motivate and get me to thrive, I never really understood how it can be viewed by others as me trying to be better than them. I’ve always internalized the not wanting to do things with me as rejection. I didn’t realize my achievements could be perceived by someone else as their failure. I’m grateful for this new awareness so I can let go of my old story and I can work on changing my energy in the future.
I’m grateful for the Blog Challenge I completed this week. This was the kick in the pants I needed to look at the things I must focus on doing with this blog. There was a great community of other individuals planning on starting home businesses through their websites and this helped focus me to do a lot of brainstorming of where I’d like to take Together We Can Heal in the future. I plan to sign up for the Activate Coaching Program tomorrow to give me a structured format, a community of others to challenge me, and coaches to help me revamp my website and provide more value for my readers. I feel a bit anxious and really excited. It’s time to take the next step.
I’m grateful for Pi Day and Papa Murphy’s 34.1% off a pizza. YUM! And Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I’m so loving what Disney is doing with Marvel lately.