I’m grateful for the opportunity to enjoy dinner with my step-sister and her cousin’s family. I will admit, I was quite nervous due to our relationship having had a falling out seven years ago.
I’ve noticed over the years, with my former spouse and my youngest daughter, how a younger sibling craves the acceptance, love, and validation from the older sibling. I have always considered myself an only child since my older sister didn’t live with us (she visited a weekend or two a month). I was surprised how I noticed the feelings come up the other evening that I too, crave the attention from my older sister.
Seven years ago I felt judged by how I was managing my life. Seven years ago, I was barely in recovery and due to some very bad choices I had made and the family I had hurt due to my actions, was it judgement that I believed she expressed or was it concern and wanting to see the best for me and my girls? I thought I had but up a boundary to protect myself. I realized after spending time with her, I had put up a wall because I didn’t want to hear how bad I had screwed up.
I’m grateful we had a chance to reconnect and hopefully mend our relationship. I’m grateful that my former spouse was able to be there with my family. And I’m grateful that it worked out that the one day this week where I was home for 24 hours, was the one day I got to have dinner with my sister.