(a book review)

 

“You play the victim so well; I’m surprised you don’t carry around your own body chalk.”

~  Author Unknown

 

I had the great privilege and honor to have Eddie Capparucci, a certified sex addiction therapist from Abundant Life Counseling in Marietta, GA and blogger for Sexually Pure Men, ask me to read his new book, Going Deeper: Understanding How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. This book was released last week, February 13, 2020.

 

 

Eddie has created a treatment program for sex and porn addiction that he named the Inner Child Recovery Process which focuses on helping individuals empower themselves by recognizing it’s their inner child that’s “running the show” when it comes to the addiction. His process has been outlined in his new book.

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In the last blog I wrote, Awaken Today to Become the Person You Want to Be Tomorrow, I asked the question: What would your 8o year old self tell the person you are today? With all the wisdom that you’ve gained over the years, what would you tell a younger version of yourself?

 

Similar to Brad Paisley’s song, Letter to Me, what insights would you gleam from an older version of you?

 

Of course, you don’t really know what your 80-year-old would say. I mean unless you have a time machine that I don’t know about. However, I thought may I just might give it a stab and see what comes about if I tried it.

 

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When I first started recovery, I was more concerned about being a father to my daughters and how much a failed marriage would model negatively on them. I didn’t truly understand I failed at parenting myself.

 

I was so worried about my marriage and my girls, especially since my daughters were at such a young age, my energy was tied to a timeline of “fix me, fix my marriage, and do it yesterday.” My belief was due to a fear that my time was limited before they too, would have negative patterns wired in their brains for years to come.

 

And unfortunately, as much as I wanted to be a healthy model for my girls, not learning how to parent myself, kept me locked in this childhood wounded state and a belief that my divorce proved I was unworthy of love, invisible, and not important.

 

Instead of loving and nurturing me, I held on tightly to a marriage that was destroying all of us.

 

What I’ve learned through my own recovery, and what neuroscience is now proving, is that we do have the power and the ability to reshape and rewire our brains. We don’t have to stay locked in childhood patterns. Yes, habits and patterns are hard to break, and yet, we can become aware of them and take the necessary steps to change and grow.  There is hope.

 

Dr. Shefali calls this “awakening”.

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