This was one crazy, wild, and fun week! It was the ending of an era; 18 years of moving from one airline for the next destination at another. Sadness as I leave a piece of my heart behind and move away from many coworkers who are family to me. Yet excitement at the prospects that lie ahead and the new family I’m joining. I pray that my schedule will finally open up so I no longer have to commute and will spend the time in my own bed that I used to spend out on the road. I pray I will have the time with my family I have longed to have.

 

This week has been a hurricane of emotions; love, happiness, loss, grief, excitement, and fear. A lot to process. I’m grateful that my journey of recovery has allowed me the ability to stay present with it all.

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I’m grateful for my last trip training a captain upgrade. I’m glad we were able to get his required observation flight accomplished so I could sign him off at the end of the trip. I’m grateful that we had a four day trip with many long legs so I could pass on a wealth of information and give him the ability to learn as much as possible from me.

 

I’m grateful for the blowup my older daughter had when I came home. I know one may ask, why would you be grateful for that kind of stress? I’m grateful because it forced the four of us to sit down and talk. It allowed frustrations and anger to come to the surface. My wife was able to ask “how can we make this better for all of us?” and “what can we do to make it easier for us?” questions which helped empower our girls and open the door to looking at some of our own issues. Lot’s of repressed thoughts and emotions came out that we were able to put on the table and process.

 

I’m grateful for the one on one time I got to spend with my younger daughter watching Riverdale and The Haunting of Hill House. I truly enjoy the time we spend connecting and I have missed her snuggled up in my arms. My little girl doesn’t like to do that as much as she used to, so I cherish anytime she allows herself to be vulnerable with me.

(written March 10, 2017)

 

We are taught that the ultimate goal in life when we grow up is to find that one special love. This is the message society gives us; to find the “happily ever after.”

 

We date various people. We’re on a mission. We need to find someone to complete us. I mean, wasn’t this the catch phrase in Jerry Maguire?

 

What if, instead, we put that much energy into loving ourselves?

 

What if, we stopped searching for the “one” and we decided to look inward and realize that we’ve already found the one?

 

What if, as Lisa Nichols says, instead of finding someone to complete us, we found someone to “celebrate our completeness”?

 

What if we decided to marry ourselves?

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