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Wednesday Share Day – January 10, 2018

I was talking with a fellow Fledgling this past week who told me about a coaching program for men by Steve Horsmon. I decided to check it out and enjoyed this blog he wrote titled How You Create Your Emotionally Distant Wife.

 

In this brief piece I saw so much of what I had done in my marriage. I competed with my former spouse, I tried to fix her, and I constantly “should” on her. In doing this, I created what I believed and when she inevitably pulled away, I felt rejected. This rejection registered as physical pain and I ended up blaming her for causing it.

 

The solution to heal is that we must look inward at our pain. Through pain there’s growth. Through pain there’s rebirth. Someone from the outside can’t give us what we need to give ourselves. We need to first fix what’s broken within us before we can heal a relationship with another.

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Wednesday Share Day – December 13, 2017

Ok, another video instead of a blog. I figure, if you’re going to read something for 10-15 minutes, why not watch a video instead? I had a fellow coworker suggest this video about the difference between men and woman’s brains.

 

Mark Gungor is an international marriage and family speaker. He uses laughter to help teach principles that will strengthen marriages. However, after watching this video, I’ve come to the conclusion that personality wise, my former spouse and I are flipped. I think I have more of the typical “female” brain whereas she follows more of the masculine traits shown in this video. It’s no wonder men and women have a tough time communicating.

 

 

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Wednesday Share Day – November 8, 2017

 

I had a friend send me this post about Successful Relationships and absolutely loved it. The post is a little long, yet very thorough. I truly wish there were required classes in High School and College to teach the importance of relationships and how to make them work. I understand we need to learn by experience and sometimes the only way to truly grow is to rise up from the ashes, yet, if we could get it right the first time, maybe we could alleviate some of the shrapnel our kids end up with when our relationships become destructive.

 

Out of the hundreds of analogies I saw these past few weeks, one stuck with me. A nurse emailed saying that she used to work with a lot of geriatric patients. And one day she was talking to a man in his late-80s about marriage and why his had lasted so long. The man said something like, “relationships exist as waves, people need to learn how to ride them.” Upon asking him to explain, he said that, like the ocean, there are constant waves of emotion going on within a relationship, ups and downs—some waves last for hours, some last for months or even years. The key is understanding that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship—people lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate, switch careers, make a lot of money, lose a lot of money. Your job as a committed partner is to simply ride the waves with the person you love, regardless of where they go. Because ultimately, none of these waves last. And you simply end up with each other.

 

I used to complain about the “ebbs and flows” of my marriage. Instead of riding the waves, I fought them. If you are struggling in a marriage, want to improve your relationship, in a new relationship, or single and want to take a step for your future in the right direction, please read Mark Manson’s Relationship Advice.