Rafiki shared with me the other day the following video on Childhood Trauma. What it explains in a very easy to understand way, is that as a child, anything less than nurturing, will create trauma. How we act as adults is directly how we are responding and reacting to our childhood trauma.

 

“It’s not about blaming, but it’s about understanding.”

– Neil Stauss

 

Everything That’s Wrong With Your Behavior and Why

– Neil Strauss

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I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m selfish. It seems that my blogs are made more for me than for my Fledglings. Here, let me explain.

 

I’m the kind of person who learns something, shouts it out to the world, has a tendency to walk around like I know it all, and then…a few months later, I completely forget what it was I learned. Recovery, self-help, self-love, insight, lessons I’ve learned really take a while to stick. Maybe it’s because I’ve got multiple decades of ingrained behavior I’m trying to change. Maybe it’s because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Or maybe it’s because I’m a man (sorry guys, truth hurts).

 

So, it’s taken me a while to remember that when something I struggled with in the past reoccurs or I need a little kick in the ass to understand what’s going on, I have a wealth of information at my fingertips. Right here! Instead of trying to search my emails for some great idea I heard about or try to Google it, I can go right to my handy dandy website and find it. I can look under my Chronological List of Blog Entries or under my Chronological List of Wednesday Share Day Blogs. I can even use the search button located in the upper right hand corner of this website page.

 

See, I told you I was selfish. Spoken like a true addict! (yes, you can do the same thing too…)

 

Today, I’d like to share with you an article that was posted on the I Love Recovery Cafe website. This recovery piece is titled What to Say When you Don’t Know What to Say, by Andrea Wachter, LMFT. If  you’ve ever been caught off guard by something someone says to you, and you’re like me who struggles with becoming reactive, make a copy of this article and store it on your smartphone or in your wallet (or find it here under the List of Share Day Bogs). I believe this will not only save you grief from accidentally putting your foot in your mouth (something I have a tendency to do regularly) but allow open communication and understanding between you and another individual.

 

If you can think of anything else to add to Andrea’s List, please add it in the comments down below.

I’m grateful for a kick ass 4th of July. The girls and I watched fireworks not only on the 4th, but on the 3rd as well. I enjoyed one on one time with my former spouse on the 3rd while the girls hung out with their friends. On the 4th, I had the pleasure of dancing to a local cover band followed by an amazing show of sparkling colors that matched an incredible musical soundtrack of patriotic and upbeat songs.

 

I’m also grateful for program and my tools of recovery. Once I left home and headed back to my crash pad, I had internal issues I needed to work on. I’m aware that I need to blog my thoughts, but I’m grateful that the physical pain that used to accompany these stories has diminished. I’m not sure if insecurities and the emotions that come with those will ever be completely dispelled (it would be so nice if they did), however, it’s a beautiful thing not to have those feelings become so overwhelming.

 

I’m grateful for my Higher Power who has given me the strength, perseverance, and the ability to manage my emotions. Little Phoenix was struggling and I was able to parent him while also knowing that He was supporting me in my time of internal conflict.