I’m grateful for a kick ass 4th of July. The girls and I watched fireworks not only on the 4th, but on the 3rd as well. I enjoyed one on one time with my former spouse on the 3rd while the girls hung out with their friends. On the 4th, I had the pleasure of dancing to a local cover band followed by an amazing show of sparkling colors that matched an incredible musical soundtrack of patriotic and upbeat songs.

 

I’m also grateful for program and my tools of recovery. Once I left home and headed back to my crash pad, I had internal issues I needed to work on. I’m aware that I need to blog my thoughts, but I’m grateful that the physical pain that used to accompany these stories has diminished. I’m not sure if insecurities and the emotions that come with those will ever be completely dispelled (it would be so nice if they did), however, it’s a beautiful thing not to have those feelings become so overwhelming.

 

I’m grateful for my Higher Power who has given me the strength, perseverance, and the ability to manage my emotions. Little Phoenix was struggling and I was able to parent him while also knowing that He was supporting me in my time of internal conflict.

 

I’m grateful for another successful year of recurrent training. It doesn’t matter how many times I go through, my stress increases when I’m being quizzed and evaluated. Some of the scenarios we train for are emergencies I only see once each year, and others, are something I’ve never encountered before. This helps me hone my skills and keep me sharp. However, I have to watch the internal critic who’s still a master at putting myself down for being human, making mistakes, and not performing at my own personal standards.

 

I’m grateful for recovery, because I’ve learned not only how to keep that inner critic at bay, but also how to let things go and to give myself balance during these drills. In the past, I’d do nothing but eat, sleep and study. This year, like last, I continued to work on me by staying connected with friends, exercising, and add some enjoyment to my day. I’m grateful to have seen the Hans Solo movie opening night, Overboard, and Life of the Party while also enjoying a good book this past week. Throw in a baby shower with my coworkers, dinner with good friends, and ending the week watching the final episode of American Idol. This year’s recurrent training was pretty much a non-event.