This Father’s Day, I’m grateful to how far I’ve come in my recovery. The month of June 2017 was truly a turning point helping me Rise from the Ashes. It was when, symbolically, Rafiki handed me my own personal staff, reminding me that I had learned how to access everything I already knew.

 

June was where I learned that I needed to let go of the anger surrounding the decisions that my former spouse had towards divorce. It was where I learned that I needed to pray not only to forgive my former spouse and her choice of friends that judged me, but to let go from the shackles of my resentment prison.

 

June was where I learned how to love myself and truly start parenting Little Phoenix.

 

I had spent the previous 7+ years in recovery still holding onto pain, both emotional and physical, doing everything in my power to release it. But try as I might, I couldn’t let it go. This blog, my deep trauma work, the will to never give up, and the hope that I could pass on my wisdom to others, has given me the ability to let go of the past and focus on my own daily maintenance program.

 

Life always has it’s ups and downs. There are days I struggle and days where I manage well. If I’m not careful, I can easily slip away from the present moment and get into my head. However, I’m no where close to where I was and I know where I want to be. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other on that journey.

 

Today, I take time away from family and treat myself. I treat myself to a walk. I treat myself to a movie. I read a book. I work out. I connect with the other father’s in my life, my friends, to let them know I’m thinking about them and I’m celebrating our day together.

 

Today, I’m a parent to Little Phoenix, showing myself the love and validation I so much thought I needed from the outside world.

 

Today, I’m grateful for peace and serenity. I’m grateful for self-love. I’m grateful that I can be a Father to myself. I’m grateful for life!

 

I’m grateful for my two beautiful daughters.

 

My youngest daughter helped me DJ the end of school field day for the elementary school she used to go to. So missed DJing and watching everyone having a good time. Young kids are so uninhibited when it comes to singing and dancing. This is before fear of judgment (self and judgment of others) kicks in. I love their free spirit!

 

My oldest daughter helped me DJ a High School Grad night. We did this last year allowing us a chance to spend all evening connecting. Both of us were looking forward to the event, however, we were more prepared with what to expect. Last year I wasn’t aware that I my job would be more background music rather than a dance. There’s a lot of other activities for the grads to keep them busy and hanging out together. This year my daughter and I took Class of 2018 back in time to top hits from kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. For most of the night my daughter and I danced and sang in our own world as we relived the songs WE loved to hear on the radio.

 

And tomorrow, I’m excited that the three of us will be spending our vacation in Vancouver, Canada to explore the sights where Riverdale is filmed. Yes, I’m very grateful for my girls.