I can’t start today’s Grateful Sunday without being grateful for the mother of my two beautiful daughters. I have never regretted my choice when I asked her to be my wife and the future mother of my children. I knew from the start that she was the one I wanted to raise my kids. Out of all the women I had dated before, I never felt so deeply, in my soul, the desire that this person was the one I wanted to parent with. This was also confirmed today when I read the gratitude my youngest daughter posted about her mom on Instagram. Today is Her day.

 

The other night, when my wife was dealing with our older daughter, my younger daughter told me, “Mom’s in her calm mood. I like Mom when she’s like this. She handles conflict well.”

 

In many ways, my wife has modeled the type of parent I have strived to become. I had always been reactive (well, still can be), not regulating my emotions well, and using shame and guilt as my methods of discipline (this is what I was raised with). For many years, when my wife would catch me parenting in an unhealthy way, I internalized her critique that I couldn’t do anything right and became defensive. These past few years, I’ve been able to change my story and view her comments more as constructive criticism. Stepping away from that belief, I’m now able to hold better boundaries as a father, ground myself faster, and parent from a healthier place. I have my wife to thank for that.

 

And since it’s Mother’s Day, I think I’ll add the Grateful Sunday I posted last year. Can’t say it more eloquently than that.

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I’m grateful for keeping up a daily morning meditation routine 18 days in a row, journaling, keeping an evening grateful log, and also a daily recovery log. Many times, I’ll start something like this, but I tend to break the habit because life gets “too busy”. Much of this is to help me keep my focus on getting my finances and life under control, still on track to finalize my divorce so both my wife and I can move on with our lives, and my personal goal of taking Together We Can Heal to the next level. I find that when I put my self-care first, everything else seems to also fall in line.

 

Lately I’ve been getting back into my music, both at work and at home. I have been doing some hard-inner work, listening to a variety of podcasts, learning the ins and outs about website marketing and how to build an online business, coupled with the deep look at my monetary patterns. I haven’t allowed myself a chance to slow down. This week I blasted music, singing on my drive to and from work. I have a wedding I’m DJing next month and I’m getting excited planning that event. I can’t wait to watch everyone connect and let loose to the sound of the music.

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I was a bit busy this week working on the next step in my journey of healing. This is the piece that I’ve buried my head in the sand for so many years. My underlying philosophy has been, “if I don’t see it, it’s not happening.” Not the best motto to live by.

 

Come on Phoenix, you’ve been an open book Rising out of the Ashes for a couple of years now. What could be so difficult to look at that you haven’t already discussed?

 

Finances!

 

Ohhhhhh…..A wave of understanding washes over the crowd.

 

As Dave Ramsey would say, I have been “dumb, dumb, dumb” when it comes to my finances and I’ve definitely “made a mess” with my money. Yes, this will be a post for another time.

 

Needless to say, I missed my Wednesday Share Day Blog this week. There’s no “shame” in that. I’ve missed numerous Wednesday Share Days.

 

However, I received an email about a special event that was going to air on  Netflix at midnight. I didn’t take a nap and get up at 12 (like my younger daughter does for Riverdale). Instead, I ended up watching this special while at the gym this morning. And, in typical Phoenix fashion, I was taking notes in between sets.

 

This share can’t wait 5 days, so, I’m sharing it today, Friday!

 

Happy Fri-Yay!

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