I’ve felt off these last couple of weeks. I can tell I’m not grounded. My mind is jumping back on the hamster wheel and I’m noticing the tiger is lurking in the bushes once again.

 

One indication I know I’m off is due to one simple habit I now do (or stop doing). I track the food I eat on an app. Two years ago, this obsessiveness was done to lose weight. But lately, it’s become a way to keep me aware of healthy food choices and to recognize that the decisions I make about the kind of food I eat has a direct indication of where I’m at emotionally.

 

I find that if I’m tracking, even when I occasionally eat twice as much as I’m supposed to, I’m more present in my life. I’m grounded. I’m aware that when I eat unhealthily but I’m tracking that unhealthy habit, I’m consciously making this a choice.

 

It’s when I make the decision to stop tracking that I know I’m off emotionally. When I stop tracking, I allow myself to eat more sweets or carbs. I excuse myself thinking, “I can start tomorrow. I tend to lose the weight pretty fast anyway.” I see how I’m using food to manage my emotions.

 

This is human nature; to constantly have emotional struggles and the need to manage them. It’s how we manage them that is most important.

 

Years ago, I managed my emotions with pornography and sex.

 

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