I’m grateful for my ability to process my experiences via my blog. The Myth of the Phoenix not only helped me process getting a tattoo, but also has allowed me to continue processing my pending divorce. I’m in the process of scheduling the time to finish my tattoo with colors and shading (what some have said is harder than the outlining). I feel some fear to go back through that pain again, however, I also know that confronting my fears and pain is necessary so I will see the beauty at the end of any journey. This is what I remind myself when it comes to divorce or any other challenges that will come in my life. I’m grateful that I will have something to remind me that we can die and become reborn, stronger and more vibrant than ever.

 

I’m grateful for dinner with a former fellow co-pilot and his wife. Reconnecting with close friends is always rewarding.

 

I’m also grateful for having an overnight where the Anytime Fitness down the street has a Jacob’s Ladder. I truly enjoy this cardio work out. I will continue to climb 29,035 ft., the Climb Mt. Everest Challenge. Now if I can only convince my “home” gym to add this machine!

Over two years ago I started on a journey to rid the emotional and physical pain that continued to cripple me. Resentment flooded my body as I was now, for the first time, learning how to live life on my own. Loneliness and despair slashed through my heart as I watched my wife move on, making up she was happier than she had ever been in our marriage.

 

I pleaded and begged for the pain to disappear. I willed the pain to dissipate. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could not release it.

 

A pool of boiling anger bubbled under the surface with the belief that I had once again “failed” and could not do anything right. That anger shot out passive aggressively in my words and my actions, further distancing myself from the one I desired to connect with.

 

My writing allowed me to release my pain. I was able to release the loneliness, the despair, the anguish. I let go of resentment. I let go of anger.

 

I found inner peace.

 

I had risen from the ashes and became reborn.

 

For me, the final journey towards accepting and grieving my divorce has been the desire to get a tattoo. I started that rite of passage this past weekend.

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