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Become a Scientist of Your Body

I’ve identified the intense physical pain.

 

I feel it coming from my elbows, an electrical charge shooting down my forearms to the tips of my fingers.

 

My inner child screams, “Get it out! Get it out!” And yet, his screams are muffled under my adult curiosity.

 

I want to investigate. Understand what it is. Figure out what it means.

 

In the past, I’ve let him take control.

 

I will admit, running from these uncomfortable sensations to get them to stop is so much easier. I mean why would anyone subject themselves to physical pain?

 

I lie in bed trying to comfort my terrified little child. “We know what we need to do to help release this. Let’s try and figure out how to explain what is going on within us first.”

 

“Who cares! It hurts. Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!” Then under his breath, “it’s her fault.”

 

How do I say this gently without getting Little Phoenix so upset he takes over? He always blames her.

 

“The actions are the trigger. It’s nobody’s fault. We need to figure out what’s going on in our body so we can better manage this trigger.”

 

“I don’t know. And I don’t care. I just want it to stop!” Little Phoenix is pleading with me, begging me to do anything to stop this ache.

 

“We will,” I comfort. “Until we know more. Let’s be a scientist and experiment.”

 

“NOOOO!!” my little boy is getting ready to throw a tantrum.

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Going Deeper: Understanding How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

(a book review)

 

“You play the victim so well; I’m surprised you don’t carry around your own body chalk.”

~  Author Unknown

 

I had the great privilege and honor to have Eddie Capparucci, a certified sex addiction therapist from Abundant Life Counseling in Marietta, GA and blogger for Sexually Pure Men, ask me to read his new book, Going Deeper: Understanding How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. This book was released last week, February 13, 2020.

 

 

Eddie has created a treatment program for sex and porn addiction that he named the Inner Child Recovery Process which focuses on helping individuals empower themselves by recognizing it’s their inner child that’s “running the show” when it comes to the addiction. His process has been outlined in his new book.

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Listen to the Universe

Happy New Year my Fledglings. Actually, it’s really Happy New Decade. Can you believe I haven’t written for a whole decade?

 

I can see the eye rolling response I’d get from my two teen daughters right now who aren’t as appreciative of “Dad jokes” as I am.

 

Seriously, I can’t believe it’s been three years since I wrote my first blog January 9, 2017. I’ve come such a long way from that first piece where my energy was focused on “if, through this blog, I can save just one marriage…”

 

I’ve had over 9 years in recovery and have done an inordinate amount of personal work. A little over five years ago my ex asked for separation. A year later she asked for divorce and another six months before we filed the divorce with the courts. This was followed by another three and a half years before the final papers were signed, just two months ago.

 

Our divorce will be finalized sometime this month (maybe it already has been) when we receive the stamped “judgment” in the mail.

 

May 1st, 2018 I wrote a blog titled “It’s Time” where I thought I had stopped fighting the current. My therapist repeated to me a couple of weeks ago what he’s been telling me for years.

 

“What I love about the universe, is that it will continue to repeat itself until you’re ready to listen.”

 

I listened alright. Just like a child listens to their parent. “Yeah, yeah. I hear you.”

 

I’d internalize what I heard for a few days, maybe a week or two, then back to old habits I’d go, only to once again be reminded that my actions showed I still did not get it.

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