© 2021, Inner Child Dimentions

 

Hello my beautiful fledglings. I can’t tell you how much I miss writing. I promise, I will write soon to let you know where I am with converting my personal blog into a business. The time commitment and learning curve to start a new business has been extremely high and, at times, overwhelming. While doing this, I’ve continued to practice what I preach by balancing personal self-care, being present as a co-parent for my two amazing, beautiful daughters, staying connected with friends and family, and maintaining a full-time career. Yes, there’s been a lot on my plate.

 

On top of this, I’ve also had another project going on in the background.

 

As some of you may remember, April 2020, right when the pandemic started, I joined a daily writing group. This group became my saving grace right when the world went into lockdown. I was emotionally lost and rapidly going downhill.

 

Joining this group was the catalyst to me doing the #75Hard Challenge (today is actually day one of a 2nd round of #75Hard with two good friends of mine – I need another reboot!), followed by an 8 week program with Tommy Rosen. This lead to yoga and meditation becoming a morning practice in my every day life.

 

My writing group has been one of many blessings. I met the most wonderful authors and people, many of whom are now close friends. We’ve shared our personal experiences of trauma, addiction, recovery, as well as our fears, insecurities, and loss. In our sessions, we wrote about extremely vulnerable topics. In fact, many of the authors were working on their personal memoirs (some of them already published since we all met).

 

By sharing our work amongst ourselves, we not only helped guide each other towards improving our communication of the written word, we supported one another through the challenge of reliving painful experiences.

 

Eleven months ago, Chris Joseph and Beth Robinson suggested a group of us should collaborate to write a book on epiphanies.  You know, come up with an “ah ha” moment and write about it.

 

Twenty signed up for the project. And today, our book has finally been published!

 

© 2021, Inner Child Dimensions, LLC.

 

Now that this book has come out, I have someone for you to meet. He’s one of the contributing authors of this book.

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My cell phone vibrates against my hip. I grab it and look down. “We haven’t seen you in Inner Circle,” the leader of my writing group messages me. “Everything ok?”

 

Fear creeps in, my chest tightens and my breathing contracts.

 

I knew my absence wouldn’t go unnoticed. The one who has taken over our Zoom meetings is big on holding us accountable with our writing. How do I respond?

 

I’ve talked about this ad nauseam with one of the guys. I’ve even started to write about the negative beliefs that keep popping up in my mind. On one hand, I know they aren’t true, and yet, on the other, I’ve had writers block for the last four months. I can’t seem to get into the groove. Do I tell her the truth?

 

I hesitantly respond, my fingers slowly spelling out each word. “I      feel       like     a     fraud.”

 

My finger hovers over the send button. Why am I so uncomfortable letting her know what’s going on? I take a deep breath and push send anyway.

 

“What?!?” she quickly texts back.

 

“Most people in our group are writing memoirs. I never had the intention to write a memoir. I used the writing time to work on my blog when we were forced to shelter in place. Later, it became a safe community of people I enjoy hanging out with. I haven’t written anything for months.”

 

Her response is practically instantaneous. She must be using a computer. “I lead our writing group and I haven’t worked on my book in months. With the move, being relocated for a bit due to the fires, and now finally moving into our house, I have felt really unsettled. I also got to a point in my book where my plan for the last 30% of it wasn’t at all inspiring me. I finally just gave myself permission to shelf it for a bit, knowing I will come back to it. I work on writing content for my Masterclass and other stuff. Sometimes I write articles or encouraging content for my newsletter subscribers. Do you think I’m a fraud and I don’t belong in our writing group? Do you think I’m a fraud and I don’t belong there? I’m going to go ahead and guess that you emphatically said ‘nooooooooo, of course not!’ Same goes for you, my friend. If writing calls to you or any kind of creativity and if this group feels like ‘home’ to you then you belong. End of story.”

 

I click on the “WOW” surprised looking emoji. Would I call her a fraud?

 

I absolutely love her writing. The book she’s working on about codependency is done in such a different and creative way. I wish it was already published.

 

“Thank you for all your kind words and being the creative spirit you are. And thank you for reaching out.”

 

A week later, I wrote The Awakening.

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I’m grateful for Spring Break. Both my daughters were able to get away while my ex and I had to work. This was a good change from their daily “ground hog day” routines, which has been something they both really needed. I’m glad they had the opportunity to enjoy time with their friends. Spring Break has also showed an increase in traveling passengers which was encouraging for both my industry and hopefully our economy. I look forward to life after the pandemic. It was nice to see full planes and actual people on the beaches.

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