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I Love Me

 

It’s interesting to stand aside and just observe my emotions.

 

I lost my mother in 2006. For many years I’d hear a song, see a play, or think of something I knew my mother would like and I couldn’t control the emotions that took over. I’d easily tear up and feel my body transported into the pain I felt on the day I lost her.

 

That had been the same with my divorce. A song, a thought, missing my ex, just having the desire to talk with her and see how her day was, I’d go from happy go lucky to an instant mush of sadness.

 

Through recovery and the work I’ve done this past year, it’s been easier to manage my emotions. I feel them coming, I acknowledge them, I accept them, and I try not let them overwhelm me.

 

If they do become overwhelming, I let them flow, but I don’t sit in the emotion like I used to. I question it. I look at it from all sides. I investigate what the emotion is trying to tell me, ask if my story is accurate, and try to learn from it.

 

From this observing point of view, it’s cool to watch why I react the way I do. And it’s amazing that I can self-soothe and bring my emotional level back to ground.

 

 

Today I just had one of those experiences.

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Your Destiny

Your beliefs become your thoughts, 

Your thoughts become your words, 

Your words become your actions, 

Your actions become your habits, 

Your habits become your values, 

Your values become your destiny. 

     -Gandhi

 

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