I’m grateful to hearing a past story about how I over reacted many years ago when my two daughters were fighting in the back seat of our car. All three of us realized how far I’ve grown in recovery. “You don’t do that anymore Dad. We don’t want that going to your head though. You’re not perfect. You still make mistakes.” Love my girls!!

I was sitting on an airplane today while commuting home listening to a podcast and deeply focused on my cross-stitch project I was working on. A lady across the aisle leaned over and said something. I couldn’t hear her. I paused my podcast.

 

“I’m sorry? Say again?”

 

“That’s beautiful!”

 

“Oh, thank you.”

 

I must admit; I do like the attention.

 

Lately though, when I want to work on my project, I stop and ask, “Phoenix, why do you want to do this right now?” If the answer I give myself is for attention, for someone to ogle over my work, I’ve learned not to pull it out. Making myself conscious about why I do things is very hard.

 

On an airplane, while listening to a podcast, book on tape, or watching a movie, it’s a completely different story. Eventually, I disappear into my own world and don’t notice anyone around me, even the flight attendant trying to get my attention to see what I’d like to drink. On those days, I get slightly annoyed when someone interrupts me.

 

It’s funny. When I want the attention, nobody says anything. But when I want to be alone in my own world, I meet people that want to talk. Must be Murphy’s Law.

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Today I did an assignment for an ACOA course I am taking. ACOA stands for Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families. Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but learning about this 12-step program opened the door to what I personally have needed to take my recovery one step deeper towards healing.

 

According to ACOA, here’s The Problem (bolded items resonate the most with me):

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